change

I am not good with change.... I knew this would be a HUGE adjustment for me, but hindsight is 20/20 and it was more than I realized. I was fine with everything until the house sold. Now I can't stop crying.... about everything.... I cry about the dumbest things. How did this happen, what happened to the stoic I used to be that would NEVER cry. Mark said he thinks I've cried more in the past couple weeks than my entire life ~ he is probably right. I realize this is probably a depressing post to read, but I'm hoping by venting it out, I'll get over this part of the process and move on to the next part. So here are things that I've cried about (hopefully in a couple more weeks I'll post the things that make me laugh!):
I took the kids for a walk.... there were no sidewalks, so I didn't feel safe with AJ not in the stroller. I missed the beautiful curbs and sidewalks of the past.
The other day was rather warm and sunny and I thought about the tulips and flowers in my old yard and my neighbor gardening.
All the kid's in Mark's family play with toy guns, AJ still calls them screwdrivers, but it makes me sad that he knows what a gun is now.
Someone asked me if I was going to spank AJ... he was in the midst of throwing a fit.
I wrote thank you cards to the people who helped us move and cried the whole time.
AJ found a fuzzy on the floor and said, "Mom, this looks like our carpet and I want to go home."
Anything AJ says about stuff in storage or stuff from our old house is instant tears.
Emails from friends.... sorry for not writing back yet.... I just can't stop crying.
Restaurants around here have smoking... and everyone here smokes! So awful to smell.... I had forgotten when I lived in "perfectville" and smoking wasn't allowed in public places. I'm not a smoker, so I guess that's why it is so noticeable to me.

Enough depressing thoughts.... I hope that once we get our own place things will change a little once I can unpack and have my own bed back and get things settled. Speaking of own place we are in negotiations with another bank for one of their homes, so maybe this week. We both like this house, but even though the home has never been lived in, it needs repairs. The economy here is awful so people actually break into empty homes and steals copper pipes and stuff they can sell. So we have some fixing to do where the garage was broken into and they messed with a couple of pipes in the basement... I had never heard of such a thing!