Considering the greener grass

July 22 was the date of my last post. It has been on my mind, but I had no idea that much time had gone by. I didn't have internet this last week since we moved. YES! I said moved.... finally after 6 months we moved into our own place. Someone once asked me why I didn't write more and why there were stretches of time where I didn't write. The truth is I tend not to when I am depressed and overwhelmed. I don't adjust to change well and need a lot of time before hand to get myself prepared. Once August started too many things happened and everything went out of control for me. I didn't feel like there was a calm time until late this afternoon.... aaahhh. In August Mark and I both started school, AJ started preschool this last week and I started working full time (temporary). Then we found out we were moving at the end of the month. I'm so excited we are renting. I just had such a fear about buying a house in this area. It is cemented in my mind that I do not want to stay here.... this in not where I belong. This feeling has been even more strong as I unpack and see things from friends and neighbors. Pictures. Baby clothes. Trinkets and such. I miss my friends, I miss my church, I miss that town. I can not believe it has been this long and I still feel so adamantly about it. I know most people have feelings sometime in their life about maybe it would be nice if we lived here or there, but I don't think most people pack up the entire family move and then decide, mmmm not sure that was a good idea. But here I am and that is how I feel. Tomorrow we are trying a new church. Maybe a little more time and things will be different.